Bon Voyage...

PHEW!!! What a hectic few weeks it has been.

I haven't stopped and my head has definitely not had a chance to stop spinning.

Bonjour to Bon Voyage...

I met my husband in March 2006. St Patricks day to be precise.

I had been ill for 2 solid weeks and I mean ILL!!! 

On this particular day I felt much better, my hair though still had essence of vomit giving it a distinct scent, my skin was still that lovely shade of grey and I hadn't bathed in the entire 2 weeks...yep! That ill!

I threw on some clothes(pyjamas and an old cardi), my slippers and headed to my friends house a few doors down.

As I entered I realised immediately she had company! 

"Emma, this is my brother David"

BROTHER??? 

WTH! My brain racked trying to think of any conversations we had, had in the 3 years of our friendship that mentioned a brother. I had nothing!

Then this 'thing', sorry it is the only way to describe it, scuffles into the kitchen...Of course this is when your polite side comes out. The pleasantries of the first introductions etc

"Are you trying to be a goth or something?"

WHAT THE HELL JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH???

Who does that? Me! That's who!

"Trying.." He says...clearly much politer than me!

At this point I was still married. I was telling my then husband every day that I wanted a divorce but some people just don't listen!

Long story short, I didn't see David(Dai) again until a few months later when he just turned up at my front door for a "coffee" and the rest as they say is history...

Some Strange Stuff!!!

When I was younger I said for years that if I had a son I would call him Pierce. Even when I was pregnant with my first child it was high on the list but something stopped me...

I married Dai Pearce!

For the last 2 years of my marriage I would have the same dream over and over, which I only ever told my best friend about.

I was on a ship, a navy ship and there was CHAOS! Sailors running everywhere, alarms sounding, when all of a sudden I am pulled into a room, bent over a table and, well...you have imaginations!

The first night that Dai turned up at my home(I was not impressed, it was 11pm, my door was open so he just walked in, and I was in my pjs wearing a turbi towel on my head!)

Well, as he left and I got up to see him out we passed a table and all of a sudden he(he was in the RN for 6 years and had left a few months before we met) bent me over a table and, well...you have imaginations!!!

I know all of this post is random and a bit naughty but I am going somewhere...I think.

In 2006 when I met Dai he told me from the start that he regretted leaving the RN and as soon as he had the chance he wanted to re-join.

He tried, every year. Every year he was turned away because the RN was "full"

At first I was supportive, apprehensive and then gutted each time this happened. Then I got to the stage where it was routine, and just part of our year.

He applies, he gets a no, we move on...

That was until 2012

In 2012 Dai applied again. He was told the same thing except this time he was told not to even bother in 2013 as he would get exactly the same answer.

4 months later.

January 2013.

I get a call.

"Can you tell us if David is still interested in re-joining? We are looking to place him in the marine something or other, and we NEED him asap!"

Confused? I certainly was.

Anyway he went through the whole thing...he got through the stages needed but the snag was he had a tattoo on his hand...this tattoo took a year to be removed!!! A Year!

I was convinced at this point that he would be told that it was too late...It didn't happen.

April 1st 2014

He is in. Not any part of the Marine unit, but in.

Goes off to base. Does Navy stuff.

May 2nd 2014

Confirmed shore based for rest of year...

May 19th 2014

Dai phones, tells me to sit down and informs me that on the 16th June he would be flying out to meet a ship for a 6 month deployment! I was floored!

It was like the ground just disappeared from under me. I couldn't believe that it was happening so soon, so little warning. I didn't know(and still don't) the first thing about being a Navy wife!

From that point on we have done all we can to prepare the boys for the change, the separation and the loss. It truly has been heart-breaking.

We have spent every penny we had on train fares for him, days out with the bugs, meals out for the two of us. Basically making the most of the little time we had.

This is why I have neglected my lovely little blog. It is why I have neglected all my wonderful blog friends.

May 15th 2014. Fathers Day.

I won a competition for entering Dai into a 'best dad' fb competition and he won!

£50 to spend in a restaurant that has just opened up(part of a chain, lovely to look at, average grub but AWESOME red velvet cheesecake that I could get in Manchester but not down here...so happy!)

It was our last day together as a family until December. I couldn't eat a thing and I was glad to be wearing sunglasses as I turned into a blubbering wreck. I just couldn't hold it in.

I was distraught. We have had a really rough time lately. Things in the relationship have been very strained due to some crappy events. Things were not 'fixed' and we had run out of time. 

How do you say goodbye to someone when things are not 'fixed'?

He put smallest bug to bed, then he broke down. He played his last game of cards with the bigger bugs and held them so tight.

Then he held me. I don't know how I let go.

When he was in the Navy first time round he never had a family to leave. He never had to walk out of a home.

I know all this seems very melodramatic but it is how it is. We know it is not forever but it is a long time. It seems like forever.

As he waved his way down our path and into the taxi waiting to take him on his new adventure we all cried. I watched my eldest bugs break down. We held each other and reassured each other, I don't think any of us believed the clichés we were spouting, but they helped.

Little bug slept as we waved his Daddy goodbye.

And now we wait. Now we love. Now we get on with every day life as if every thing is OK. 

Please let it be OK.

Fair Winds our Sailor. 

Come home Safe.

We will be waiting.

Happy Thursday 

xxx

(This guy is actually 30!!!)

My Beautiful Sister...

“Sister. She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. ” 
― Barbara Alpert

3 Years ago today I lost my big sister. 

Those of you who followed my last blog probably remember this.

I cannot think positively sometimes but most of the time I try. 

Sarah was 10 years older than me. She was my second Mum. When my little brother who is only 13 months younger than me, was born with a bi-lateral cleft lip and palette, it was up to my sister to take care of me whilst Adam got all the care he required and all the operations.

I annoyed her when I was growing. I destroyed her make-up(remember there was a lot of make up used in the 80s!) I sprayed all her hairspray whilst she was out(this led to me getting great at running when she realised this half an hour before heading out)

I followed her EVERYWHERE, I was her shadow.

When I role played growing up my name was always Sarah.

I looked up to her always...literally, she was 5ft 9, I am 5 inches shorter!

She was always there. From birth to her death. She was there.

I haven't got the best family as I have mentioned before. My sister and my brother are my world.

I have another older sister, I have 2 little ones. I have 2 little brothers but they are not what Sarah and Adam are.

When your whole life has been about a few people those people are everything. You don't ever have to be alone. You don't face things alone, you always have someone to share crappy jokes with.

Sarah was a character. We would go away for weekends and she would pretend I was her PA and she was a features writer for InStyle magazine. Somehow it always worked.

We got into the best clubs, mingled with celebs and got great discounts.

(We also got into a lot of pickles on these jaunts)

I miss her. I miss her so much. That is obvious.

I don't so much miss what we had, I miss what we could have had.

I miss all the birthdays we wont share, all the trouble we wont get into.

I miss finding out if her hair all would fall out because she changed it so often.

I miss her cheek and her mischievousness.

I miss having a big Sister x

My beautiful Sarah xxx

“If you have a sister and she dies, do you stop saying you have one? Or are you always a sister, even when the other half of the equation is gone?” 
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

xxx

Talented Friend...

When it comes to family I definitely pulled the short straw. I won't go into details but lets just say it is not a harmonious, loving group of people, But, when it comes to friends I have pulled every long straw there is. 

I have so many people that I call friends, and they are. We are all there for each other and we have happy and sad times together. I have too many acquaintances to count, but you know what else I have? Best Friends! Yep! I said it. I took you all back to school and playing with your girlfriends and whispering to each other that today, "You're my best friend really, not Sheila!"

But I have them. I am 31 and I have 6 best friends. What makes them best? They are my family, not by blood but by friendship. ALWAYS there. Always making life so much better. I can only hope that in some small way I do the same for them.

One of these very special people is Hazel. Hazel is a creative force that has gone above and beyond friend duties.

Last year my eldest was due to start high school, because we had moved and I wasn't happy with the catchment school for a number of reasons I had to wait months for an appeal(we lost the appeal but magically one of the best schools in the area managed to find him a place...nothing to do with his high academic achievements!) during these months Hazel and her husband drove miles every Friday after being in work all day to tutor Jacob. Hazel is a dab hand at French, Spanish and was excellent at English Lit, lang and history! Her husband Edward is training to be a science teacher in secondary school. How lucky am I???

On Christmas night I ended up having to go to hospital for a crappy episode with the bipolar. This has been the worse episode in years. I had to go and stay with my brother in Manchester a lot, I was sleeping all the time, drugged up and feeling useless. Not able to do anything for myself.

Guess what this lady did?

No! She didn't rub my shoulder and say everything would get better, she didn't avoid me so she could avoid an awkward conversation. She came over one night, unannounced I might add, and with her she bought a MOUNTAIN of home cooked food! Days of work and effort cooking and baking for my little family! My freezer and fridge were filled. Homemade curries, pies, fruit crumbles, naan bread, shepherds pie. So much awesomeness! I also had a pile of goodies just to cheer me up(including her AMAZING mince pies with her own mince meat)

Awesome!!!

This lady is also incredibly talented. If you haven't had a chance to have a gander at her blog go say hi :)

For my Birthday a few years ago she made me this

ALL by hand I might add.

For my 30th I got this

and these

even creating a cake recipe and naming it Emmatines after me!!!

For my last birthday I also got something so cool and very needed.

A few years ago Hazel bought me a recipe journal so I could write and store my recipes. The man decided that it was fine to clean around it and getting it wet...it got ruined long story short lol.

So Haze made me this...

All her own art!

Photographs of her kitchen and mine. 

Look at the detail. So, so talented. I am always in awe of her drawings and art work

Because I enjoy a good tipple ;)

I finally managed to start sorting and adding to it yesterday and it made me so happy.

I feel blessed to have this unique lady in my life and I am so unbelievably lucky to be able to call her my friend. My best friend hehe!

Love you Lady xxx

Happy Heart Day...

Hello. Well it is that day again. Flowers, chocolates and hearts. I am a big fan of V day, not because of the above first two but because it is a day dedicated to love. 

A long time ago a priest put the love and marriage between people before his own life(or so the story I have heard says)

So today I woke up to a 5 year olds display of love...

This HAD to be left for me to sit on surrounded by love hearts...

The Mans attempt at handmade :)

More love from my littlest bug...the bigger bugs are making me wait until they have finished school to hand me their efforts...

Gorgeous little heart bunting brightening the fireplace. These hearts are a version of the Boho Hearts(I messed with the pattern a little) from the wonderful Cherry Heart.

Great thing about little bugs is the cuteness of gifts from them. I think his teachers are so fab they all deserved a little valentines love.

For when my bugs come home I decided to make them some yummy edible hearts, Welsh style.

Raspberry and white chocolate welsh cakes

The raspberries give them a lovely pink colour, especially inside.

We are going to enjoy home made pizza tonight and lots of cuddles. This rain is telling us to snuggle under blankets and watch Disney whilst eating naughty foods and drinking hot chocolate.

Even on this grey and gloomy day though there is stunning bright colour. The tulips are opening up so quickly today. They are making my heart sing :)

I am surrounded by love and lots of the things I love. No posh pressies, No fortune spent and still a VERY happy Mummy, Wife and Lady x

I hope you are all having a lovely Friday and I am sending you all my love xxx

Happy Valentines Day x

Valentine NO.1...

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY GORGEOUS BLOGGERS.

This isn't my Vday post but I just couldn't wait to share with you what I woke up to this morning.

My facebook was dinging away as people liked and commented on a photo the man had shared...

Isn't that just adorable???

My 3 little bugs(actually all looking at the camera is an achievement!)

I think this is one of the nicest valentines presents I have ever had.

A gorgeous memory of my gorgeous boys xxxx

Happy Friday x