Thursday, 19 June 2014

Bon Voyage...

PHEW!!! What a hectic few weeks it has been.
I haven't stopped and my head has definitely not had a chance to stop spinning.

Bonjour to Bon Voyage...

I met my husband in March 2006. St Patricks day to be precise.
I had been ill for 2 solid weeks and I mean ILL!!! 
On this particular day I felt much better, my hair though still had essence of vomit giving it a distinct scent, my skin was still that lovely shade of grey and I hadn't bathed in the entire 2 weeks...yep! That ill!
I threw on some clothes(pyjamas and an old cardi), my slippers and headed to my friends house a few doors down.
As I entered I realised immediately she had company! 
"Emma, this is my brother David"
BROTHER??? 
WTH! My brain racked trying to think of any conversations we had, had in the 3 years of our friendship that mentioned a brother. I had nothing!
Then this 'thing', sorry it is the only way to describe it, scuffles into the kitchen...Of course this is when your polite side comes out. The pleasantries of the first introductions etc

"Are you trying to be a goth or something?"

WHAT THE HELL JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH???
Who does that? Me! That's who!

"Trying.." He says...clearly much politer than me!
At this point I was still married. I was telling my then husband every day that I wanted a divorce but some people just don't listen!

Long story short, I didn't see David(Dai) again until a few months later when he just turned up at my front door for a "coffee" and the rest as they say is history...

Some Strange Stuff!!!

When I was younger I said for years that if I had a son I would call him Pierce. Even when I was pregnant with my first child it was high on the list but something stopped me...
I married Dai Pearce!

For the last 2 years of my marriage I would have the same dream over and over, which I only ever told my best friend about.
I was on a ship, a navy ship and there was CHAOS! Sailors running everywhere, alarms sounding, when all of a sudden I am pulled into a room, bent over a table and, well...you have imaginations!
The first night that Dai turned up at my home(I was not impressed, it was 11pm, my door was open so he just walked in, and I was in my pjs wearing a turbi towel on my head!)
Well, as he left and I got up to see him out we passed a table and all of a sudden he(he was in the RN for 6 years and had left a few months before we met) bent me over a table and, well...you have imaginations!!!

I know all of this post is random and a bit naughty but I am going somewhere...I think.

In 2006 when I met Dai he told me from the start that he regretted leaving the RN and as soon as he had the chance he wanted to re-join.
He tried, every year. Every year he was turned away because the RN was "full"
At first I was supportive, apprehensive and then gutted each time this happened. Then I got to the stage where it was routine, and just part of our year.
He applies, he gets a no, we move on...
That was until 2012

In 2012 Dai applied again. He was told the same thing except this time he was told not to even bother in 2013 as he would get exactly the same answer.
4 months later.
January 2013.
I get a call.
"Can you tell us if David is still interested in re-joining? We are looking to place him in the marine something or other, and we NEED him asap!"
Confused? I certainly was.
Anyway he went through the whole thing...he got through the stages needed but the snag was he had a tattoo on his hand...this tattoo took a year to be removed!!! A Year!
I was convinced at this point that he would be told that it was too late...It didn't happen.

April 1st 2014

He is in. Not any part of the Marine unit, but in.
Goes off to base. Does Navy stuff.

May 2nd 2014

Confirmed shore based for rest of year...

May 19th 2014

Dai phones, tells me to sit down and informs me that on the 16th June he would be flying out to meet a ship for a 6 month deployment! I was floored!
It was like the ground just disappeared from under me. I couldn't believe that it was happening so soon, so little warning. I didn't know(and still don't) the first thing about being a Navy wife!

From that point on we have done all we can to prepare the boys for the change, the separation and the loss. It truly has been heart-breaking.
We have spent every penny we had on train fares for him, days out with the bugs, meals out for the two of us. Basically making the most of the little time we had.
This is why I have neglected my lovely little blog. It is why I have neglected all my wonderful blog friends.

May 15th 2014. Fathers Day.

I won a competition for entering Dai into a 'best dad' fb competition and he won!
£50 to spend in a restaurant that has just opened up(part of a chain, lovely to look at, average grub but AWESOME red velvet cheesecake that I could get in Manchester but not down here...so happy!)
It was our last day together as a family until December. I couldn't eat a thing and I was glad to be wearing sunglasses as I turned into a blubbering wreck. I just couldn't hold it in.
I was distraught. We have had a really rough time lately. Things in the relationship have been very strained due to some crappy events. Things were not 'fixed' and we had run out of time. 
How do you say goodbye to someone when things are not 'fixed'?

He put smallest bug to bed, then he broke down. He played his last game of cards with the bigger bugs and held them so tight.
Then he held me. I don't know how I let go.
When he was in the Navy first time round he never had a family to leave. He never had to walk out of a home.
I know all this seems very melodramatic but it is how it is. We know it is not forever but it is a long time. It seems like forever.
As he waved his way down our path and into the taxi waiting to take him on his new adventure we all cried. I watched my eldest bugs break down. We held each other and reassured each other, I don't think any of us believed the clich├ęs we were spouting, but they helped.

Little bug slept as we waved his Daddy goodbye.
And now we wait. Now we love. Now we get on with every day life as if every thing is OK. 
Please let it be OK.

Fair Winds our Sailor. 
Come home Safe.
We will be waiting.

Happy Thursday 
xxx






(This guy is actually 30!!!)




5 comments:

  1. What a honor to serve his country and fulfill his dreams at the same time! And you, Emma too are part of his service. Deployment is hard, but you will make it through it and then there will be the reunion:) A wish for you that this time apart will pass swiftly...
    Blessings,
    Aimee

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  2. I loved the story...so fantastic! And I am sending you a giant hug...I can't imagine how hard that must have been. Your boys are all so adorable friend! You are blessed and with them you will get through until you meet again!

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  3. I have never read your blog and then ran across it on Bunny Mummy's blog: Here is what I want to tell you, hang in there, hold on to this dear one in your heart no matter what is going on or has gone on or didn't get fixed. Keep working at the issues but DO NOT forget why you are in love with this man and how much your children love him. Why am I saying this, I had been together/married to my husband for 39 years in March of this year, we had an issue, a business decision, that had put a wedge between us and caused a lot of heart ache, I called a Truce about it on his birthday in February as I was the one that was the most upset by it, my dearest passed away suddenly on March 30th. The life I had expected to have is not the one I am going to be living now and I miss him terribly every day so send love to your husband always and both of you must try to have understanding of one another and yes, you will be waiting. God bless you and yours.

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    1. This brought a tear to my eye. I know exactly what is like to lose someone you love so much so suddenly :( But I can't imagine losing him. My sister passed away 3 years ago on March 29th and there was no illness, just gone. I remember it every day and try to make sure I love as I live which is why it hurts that I cannot be so happy without him here to talk to and reassure etc.
      Your pain will never go away, but it will ease, day by day. I wish you all the love in the world and all the prayers xxx

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  4. Remember when you feel lonely that he will be missing you at the same time. You can be separated by distance but not in spirit. You were disappointed that some issues are unresolved. Perhaps you can view the temporary separation as an opportunity to 're-connect' with your self as an individual and not part of a couple. Reflect on your own emotions and needs and then how it all fits within a relationship. Sometimes issues that were unresolved in a previous relationship can pop up to haunt one in a new relationship. Reflect on not only what you need from a relationship but what you can give. What does he do that makes you feel loved? What do you do to express your love for him? Share these insights with him when he returns. Often misunderstandings occur when people misunderstand each other's behaviour. These are things that I have learned in my life. Then you can be reunited and start refreshed. I hope that perhaps the issues that were a big deal before may not be as big after being apart. It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Wishing you all the best.

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